My very first job was as a steward at some newly opened restaurant in New Delhi. I was given 3500/- of salary for that. I did not feel satisfied with that kind of work. So I left that job and started working as a salesman for Chandigarh branch of Standard Chartered Bank. My salary was 2500/-. Again I was not satisfied. So I left that for the new job as an Insurance Salesman for ICICI Prudential. Again I wasn’t satisfied , so I left ICICI Prudential and joined a Call Center. Time and again, I always missed something , there was something I deeply felt being missed, what was that. After I watched movie Hackers on HBO in January of 2005, I decided to become programmer (or Hacker as they call it in the movie). Now I am working as a System Programmer for Phonologies India (Pvt.) Ltd and I get 8 times I what I used to earn earlier. The list of my jobs is just half yet. I have joined and left a lot of companies because all I wanted from my work was peace of my heart, a satisfaction in my heart while doing my work and I still have not gotten it today.
One day I watched The Protector of Tony Jaa and I was blown and immediately I said to myself, I never saw anyone fighting like this. The only man who ever fought so real like this was Bruce Lee and this is what I want to become. An actor……. geee… no. Everyone wants to be an actor. I want to become a Martial Artist. Hardcore practitioner of Kung-Fu, a fitness fanatic, a Martial-Artist maniac whose punches tear the bones apart, the man with 15 hour of workout schedule. I found the aim of my life, I found my love, I found the peace of my brain and complete satisfaction of my heart. But is this another post about my love .? .. No.. I will end it right here. Its about the deepest regrets of my life. This is the place where I spent 3 years:

Unbelievable….. isn’t it ? Just on the lower right corner of that photo is my bed (which you can’t see because I have not photographed it but it does exist on the lower right corner of this photo ) where I slept after my work and I used to get up and then work on the computer. I used to take my breakfast and lunch and dinner on my computer. Years from Feb of 2005 to March of 2008. I learned a lot in this, one of the best learning I got from the School of Hard Knocks, and I learned that all from my bed to my computer, the distance between them was hardly 2 feet. I have lived 3 years of my youth (younghood, as I call it) from my computer to my bed, without talking to anyone, without making any new friends, without any love for anything. I had nothing. These were the most painful years of my life. What do you expect a 25 years old son to do when his Father is on the edge of last days of his job and that lower middle class family have to wait for 10 years before they can buy a new fridge. Do you expect that son to be happy ? Do I regret that those were painful years or that I was sad ? of course not, the sadness, that pain had taught me a lot of things and developed the common-sense of my brain which I can never forget, no one ever can. What do I regret that I wasted a heck lot of time. I had 24 hours to myself and I wasted a lot. I learned a lot, I used Linux a lot, I played with BSDs hell of a lot, I searched the Usenet newsgroups a lot, I post and read GNU, Linux and Open Source mailing lists a lot but even after that I still wasted a lot of time. I could have enjoyed it but I did not, I could have listed to my favorite songs but I did not, I could have learned to do one hand push-ups but I did not, I did waste a lot of time. Now sitting my office working from 9:30 AM to 7 PM at the age of 28 I can not get that time back. I can no longer appreciate the greenery of my home place. I can not get back those green grounds and dark green fresh leaves with rains drops failing on them, I can no longer get back the spellbound sound of rain falling at my house when I was 25, I watched it, I loved it but I wasted so much of it. Now even today, I waste a lot of time and I see it is such a common habit of all the people. And majority of people do not want to talk about it, they get mentally disturbed and sad when I talk about why did they waste time and how do they feel about it now. Do they not want to change this habit ? Do they not want to use as much time as possible ? Do you think you can get the age of 25 back ?
Here is what these people, the general public likes:
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Hey.. NOKIA has launched a new mobile. Lets have a look. I heard it has mp3 player, a faster Internet connection and a video player, you know you can watch a video in a quality higher than today’s mobiles.
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Shahrukh Khan’s beard in Chak De India looks great. I will grow that kind of beard, just like Shahrukh Khan.
- wow.. what a hot chick that is. And then they keep looking at her for a good amount of time. Most probably they will follow her for another good amount of time.
- Your bike looks nice. Do one thing, remove the mudguard from the real wheel and put on a tire with a broader wheel base, not for a good grip but to show other people. When mudguard is no longer there, people can see you have a big tire. Then everyone in that groups of nomral people says.. now bike looks great (because they say I am abnormal, hence they must be normal because they are opposite of me).
- I will buy chocolate Horlicks , not the one Arnuld drinks. Arnuld buys foods with no flavor, no preservatives and no colors. He always jumps to ingredients when we advise him some food. Its stupid and its wastage of time, why will you eat a food without taste. What they don’t see is I am eating for my health, not for my tongue.
- Arnuld, why don’t you talk about good things in life ? See how much Coca-Cola tastes better with a Pizza. Look at that funny advertisement where Dhoni kicks ass.
I can not take back my younger years. I can not go back in time and live that part of my life again, I can not even get that amount of time I wasted. Whatever I have is the present day, the hours I am putting in now, they matter. People talk about actor’s beard, or big bikes or tasty but nutritiously empty food. They eat junk and call themselves normal people. I don’t understand how is it abnormal to read ingredients and eat food rich in nutrients. I found that Scooby does the same, is he abnormal like me ?
Whatever time I have wasted, there is no point in repenting it. The only thing anyone can do is not to waste present day, the hours and minutes he has. When I live with the kind of people who talk of these things I feel I wasting my precious time. They are the people who just want to have big bikes or cars, then have a wife and a kid and then they will go to an expansive shopping mall, where an executive (whose financial condition is same as me) will smile for them and say “Hello Sir, how can I help you”. Then they will shop around with the their small kid and meet some of friends and laugh and come back home, run over a smoke after dinner and then screw each other and finally sleep. Is there anything wrong with that kind of lifestyle ? Of course not, what is wrong that they will never spend any single minute of their life on solving a problem like how a man can get rid of his old habits. or How to build a better government or How come Scooby
created such a great body structure without any professional degree or training from someone ? or Why their kids reading the books from the education system which was founded before 1947, in times of slavery ? or Why he richer is getting richer and poorer is getting poorer in this Monetary Based Economy or Why government opened so many engineering colleges in India, so many that every year thousands of engineers don’t get any kind of work but there are only tiny amount of medical colleges and that make people perish in diseases because there are not many doctors available in India.
They don’t think like this and the ones who do are either abnormal, stupid or mad or need a psychological analysis. The time I waste today with these kind of people is what hurts me most, so I have stopped talking to the people unless they are intellectual. This world does not have Poverty and Slavery problems, this world does not have economic crisis or war crisis, what this world has is an intellectual crisis and I regret the time I have wasted by adopting some of their habits. I will not waste no more time.
Copyright © 2008 Arnuld Uttre, #331/type-2/sector-1, Naya Nangal, Distt. – Ropar, Punjab (INDIA) – 140126
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