Why self-help books do not work ?

I have read several hundred self-help books and as of today I can say none of them gave me success. All what I am today is because of my hard work and a mad dedication to follow my heart and doing that slowly changed me over time. To achieve results in your life, the results which are different from the current results you are getting in your life, you need to change your thinking and you can’t change your thinking just by the thought of this kind. Mind never changes by knowing something. If you could have changed by knowing something then one self-help book would have changed you for a lifetime and you would have never needed a 2nd book but all of the people who read self-help books keep on following one book after another in search of success. Self-Help books do not work because they tell you, they let you know about what to do. Mind, and hence you, change only the day you get that thing. There is a difference between knowing and way of living. There can be a gap of few minutes to few years between knowing something and really living it e.g I knew I need to be tougher on myself when I started Martial-Arts training and I really started demanding more from my body after 3 months of practice. That day I really got what I knew 3 months back and my way of practice changed then.

There is another factor involved in success: The Maturity Threshold. There is a point in life where a person becomes mature at making decisions. His mind is clear, without any doubts and he can focus on things he wants in his life by practically working on some path. That is the point of minimum maturity level (I call it “Maturity Threshold”) required to get ahead in life. Beyond that you become wiser in making decisions, public dealings etc. and you grow exponentially beyond that level. Below this level all you got is theory, confusions, doubts and frustrations of life. This threshold level can not be achieved by reading books, you have to go out and meet people to develop this. Meet as many people as possible to develop this as this alone can develop you from knowing to way of living part. I am not saying an immature gets all the problems of life and a mature does not. Everyone gets problems in life, only reaction and reply is different and that is all that makes the difference to quality of one’s life. Beyond maturity threshold you will not need any self-help book. What you will look for yourself is the techniques and methods to solve your problems and you may find those anywhere: in a self-help book, in a magazine, in a conversation and sometimes something will just strike you out of nowhere. You will apply those methods and techniques instantly. You will never need any motivation to improve your life then.

These two factors I have written above have come out purely from my experiences in life. You will not find them in books (unless its a co-incidence). These are practical observations. I am advocating not to waste time in reading self-help books and put that time to some productive purpose, meeting people for example or watching a health video or acquiring some skill or reading some non-fiction, non-self-help etc. Time is precious as it is directly related to your age. When you think you are wasting your time, think you are making yourself older.


Copyright © 2013 Arnuld Uttre, Village – Patti, P.O – Manakpur, Tehsil – Nangal, Distt. – Ropar, Punjab (INDIA)

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